sadness

I always find autumn a little bit sad.
The leaves changing colour and then falling down,
the temperature dropping,
the cold creeping in.

This year it seems a little bit extra sad.
It feels full of change,
W leaving for daycare some mornings,
me searching for work.

Autumn is the time when sadness fills me.
Because the distance to my family seems further,
the mornings are darker,
the weather wetter.

It always feels like the beginning of the end.
The end of the year,
another year full of moments that, as much as I try,
I can't hold on to.

I feel like I am loosing my grip,
on my love,
on my baby,
on myself.

Let myself cry,
my tears hidden by the rain,
watching the beauty,
in the shift in season.

Preparing for the winter.
The cold, harsh,
endlessly long,
winter.

Maybe it's just the music,
the sad notes,
the beauty in the melody,
the perfect words.


you tell me...


Thank you Rebecca at Girls Gone Child for introducing me to this wonderful song that has, so far, stirred up all of the emotions I had hid deep down inside.